From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 19)

I once referred to myself, during a relevant mission, as a ‘civil servant’. Needless to say, it afforded my so-called loyal partner enormous hilarity and, myself, much ribbing.

But technically I am, by employment, if not by nature. On the other hand, those who are voted into power prove to me every day that they are far from civil. The noxious braying and self-serving egotism displayed on a frequent basis in parliament is shocking - I am glad it is not witnessed by the general public. Should they ever see first-hand who is in charge of the running the country, and how they behave, confidence in our parliament would be as severely challenged as it was when Oliver Cromwell rose up.

I have committed myself to King and Country and, in doing so, have taken on a responsibility for life. I have forsworn family and personal commitments in favour of serving our nation. I am proud of taking my vow and I am proud of what I do (for the most part). However, a consequence of my duty means I cannot espouse political opinion, so it is only within these pages that I can vent my ire at the swaggering, champagne swilling, peddlers of prevarication that call themselves politicians.

I do not claim that all of them are terrible. As a nation we have produced some outstanding statesmen, but from my privileged perspective, this is the exception rather than the rule. Still, what else might one expect from those who undertake a four-yearly ritual of self-aggrandisement that allows them to retain their parliamentary privileges? (and those are many - the food and wine in parliament is almost as good as the fare on offer in my preferred private club - a positive haven, which forbids membership of anyone currently in government.)

The majority of our elected members, regardless of party, spend more time preening and posturing, desperate to gain the attention of the nation’s press, as if participating in some bizarre, and quite frankly disturbing, mating ritual.

It has been my absolute pleasure to have encountered, and frequently trounced, many treacherous, manipulative and deceitful people in my time, ranging from foreign spies to traitorous industrialists who are quite content to sell out their country just to inflate their bank balance. I would never describe any of these people as friends, but I infinitely prefer their company to that of politicians. Perhaps it is because politicians are generally beyond my touch. I have indulged in a little light blackmail of some (very easy work) to further my missions, but generally we run in different circles. I attend to my duties and they do - whatever it is they do.

I am not, in principle, against democracy, but I am fervently against the duplicity and manipulation that so many politicians pull out during their hustings. Surely, parliament and its members should be held accountable in respect to the truth. Is this not what we fight for?

My own loyalty always has, and always will, lie with the Crown and those who bear the burden of lifelong service to their country, regardless of the cost to themselves. That is true duty.

God Save the King!