From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 23)

In the course of my career I have come into direct contact with those whose honour it is to wear the Crown. I have only ever told one person how I feel about this as it is not, perhaps, what one would expect. Truth be told, I have always felt extremely uncomfortable about it.

I serve the Crown in all its ideals, its very purpose, its representation of a British way of life and all that an Englishman holds dear. To be confronted with the living, breathing, and very human person who embodies these lofty ideals is always challenging.

Two particularly incidents spring to mind.

On one occasion, it fell to me to return property that had been taken, not by the Crown, but by a consort of a late King. It was hugely embarrassing to all parties concerned. A very civil conversation took place as I returned, in this instance, a highly ornate (and expensive) vintage snuff box. Every word we uttered skirted delicately around the subtext that this particular consort was…well… let’s just say if she had been born a commoner, she would have been described by those in the East End as a bit of a ‘tea leaf’.

I also had to accustom myself to that fact many of the Royal family still prefer to converse in German. They are, of course, of German descent, but it had never occurred to me that this might be used as a common secret language between them. I was once left in agonies of indecision when overhearing one of the married females of the Royal Family joking with a sibling that she thought I might be worthy of an indiscretion. Should I have explained immediately that I understood, causing embarrassment, or should I have remained quiet and risk inadvertently hearing more private conversations. In accordance with my nature, I chose the latter.

I am content to say that while the majority of my career has been spent in the protection and defence of the symbols and ideals of the Crown, I am generally far happier falling out of a speeding vehicle than I am spending time at court.