From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 9)

Some thoughts on eliciting Intelligence by means of seduction.

 Obviously, one of the best ways to learn is to listen. Both ladies and gentlemen love talking about themselves. However, left to their own devices, the majority of people talk absolute drivel. Unfortunately, it is necessary to allow them to waffle at first, to show willing. To deepen the conversation, one offers something intriguing about one’s self. Preferably a little-known fact that you believe will interest your listener. It is better for the fact to be true - but again, obviously, not damaging. Going undercover, one is often given a detailed character, but I suggest you integrate certain truths. I have often gained the sympathy of women by telling them of my mother’s early death and my subsequent incarceration at boarding school by my distant father. It is far from being an unusual fact, but suggesting a vulnerability, especially to matrons of young children, I inch further towards a supposed friendship, or more.

With men, where one is electing information or respect, one might allude to some business dealing that failed; allowing them to feel the superior man. With weak men, one merely mentions something casually heroic, a shooting score, catching a runaway horse or some such rot. Then one becomes something of a hero and confidante.

Generally trying to get closer to women, who in turn are close to their husbands (how else might they know their secrets?) the marriage bond is a trial. However, familiarity does indeed breed contempt. Remembering to pass the sugar before it is asked for, or asking them to perform after dinner, no matter how it hurts one’s musical sensibilities, endears one. Praise should generally be given rarely. For some women, being distant and enigmatic is more alluring. To a certain extent, one must play it by ear.

Courtesy, watchfulness, attentiveness, a smattering of praise and eventually the offering of confidences are the general basis for seduction. How exactly they are applied depends on the subject. Learning as much as you can about the target, discreetly (I must stress this) before entering the field gives a great advantage.

After a liaison, I always remain a gentleman. I never speak of the relationship, except to pass on the intelligence to the relevant people. Instead I adopt an aloof, but slightly sad demeanour towards the lady, as if I would continue the relationship if I could. Needless to say, one must be careful not to engage the lady’s affection too deeply. Personally, I choose, if I need to spend a night with the target, to ensure it is only the once and that she is fully prepped and ready to tell me what I need. Afterwards, if absolutely required, one can say something about ‘being honoured, but realising one must not intrude upon her life’. The lady is then at liberty to regard one as a cad or a gentleman, once overcome by passion who is now aiming to do the right thing. I prefer the latter option, especially as it may engender some extra guilt on the lady’s part, and she will more likely refrain from mentioning it to anybody.

The consummated liaison is the last resort. It is often surprising what simple attention and a few endearments can achieve. The major benefit of not bedding the woman is that one can part as star-crossed lovers. An ending at which I feel I excel.

Two final notes. If you find the target repugnant and attempting to imagine she is someone else does not light your ardour, tell your superiors. It is accepted within the service that feigning affection is not always possible for an individual and can cause some severe physical limitation upon the agent.

My final note is that if you were seeking advice for what to do after the bedroom door closes, I suggest you either speak to your family doctor or engage professional help. While personally a master, this is one skill I do not teach.