From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 95)

The trouble with most people is that they are far too emotional. When you are in a tight spot, it’s rarely a question of doing what makes you feel good about yourself. The way out of difficulties is more often about sacrifice. Those who want to save everyone are good hearted, but quite deluded. If we could save everyone, of course we would do so, but circumstances seldom allow it.

It can be quite a burden, thinking dispassionately about what to do. I mean, if it meant I had to sacrifice Alice in order to complete a mission, could I do it? I like to think I am that I am wedded to my duty, but the reality is, if I consider the mission liable to go that way, I simply won’t tell her about it and I’ll go alone - or with another colleague, if I must. I can work as part of a team easily enough, but when it’s simply myself and another agent, I find myself liable to strangle them. Other people, with the exception of Alice, can be extremely irritating in the field. I have my way of doing things, and that’s how I want it done.

I suppose one of the joys of being a spy is that while I might have to make field decisions, I’m never called upon to make politician decisions. One of my older brothers is an MP, and he is the most phenomenal bore. He’s also going bald with stress; he can’t be more than eleven years older than me (my rather aged and unpleasant father is still as bushy as an owl).  However, my brother’s role requires him to determine what is in the best interests of the nation and argue for it. Naturally, a lot of MPs are in it for the luncheons, and more than willing to tow the party line. Unfortunately, Egbert, is far too conscientious and does his best to figure out what is right for for everyone in the Kingdom. As I said at the start of this entry, that is an impossibility. Sadly, he stress-eats, and with the option of dining at The House of Commons twice daily during the time it sits, he is as rotund as your average barrel. I see no shining accolades in his political future, more likely an early death by apoplexy.

I also have a hope of dying by apoplexy, preferably around one hundred years of age, when a lively young woman inadvertently, and through extreme exertion, brings my existence to a happy end.