From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 146)

I’ve been trying to explain to Alice how a spy, especially one such as herself who has so many roles to play, needs to compartmentalise her life. I must say, I’ve been surprised how well she’s grasping the concept, although she’s still resisting the idea. However, I’ve no doubt that in time she will see the necessity of putting this skill into action. Either that or she will need to retire from the service. I’ll do my utmost to ensure that does not come to pass - for many reasons - not least of which is that she has not risen high enough in the ranks that she would be offered protection upon leaving, and she has acquired some vicious enemies. I should know, I was there at the time.

I started by explaining that socially I do my best to behave as a gentleman, and this includes following a code that most would find high minded and altruistic. I’m unusual in that I don’t indulge in blood sports, finding them more akin to a massacre of innocents. After all, I’ve a great fondness for animals. I enjoy my post prandial brandy, swimming at my ridiculously cold outdoor swim club, and I have a love of languages and old books. I don’t get on with my family, but anyone who invites me to a house party will find me a congenial, charming and considerate guest. This is truly how I prefer to behave - except perhaps in my bedroom endeavours, where I might be flexible on the sin of adultery, and even then, I don’t seduce or deceive. Only willing, and preferably eager, partners for me.

However, when I’m acting for the Crown, I’ll lie, cheat, deceive and even murder an enemy agent without turning a hair. I can be cold, calculating, and utterly ruthless if that’s what is necessary to finish my mission.

In order to behave in such disparate ways, I don’t do anything as silly as try to divide psyche in half. No, I ascribe some, but not all, of each Fitzroy to either my life as a spy, or my life as gentleman. Admittedly, my life as a gentleman is very much the lesser as, other than Jack and, I suppose, Griffin, I’ve no other personal responsibilities. Thus, keeping the different sides of my life separate is not that hard. There’s no one I have to lie to on a regular basis. Either Griffin or Alice will be with me on a mission, or they know I’ll tell them what I can, and have the good sense not to probe any further.

Of course, there are some aspects that do need to bleed through into both lives. I observe constantly. I always know the exits from a room, and I size up every person up I meet as to whether they move as if they know how to fight (male and female - some of those suffragettes really know how their jujitsu!). It’s part of being a spy that means one cannot let one’s guard totally down, ever. Just because I’m off duty does not mean that a nemesis of mine is also off duty.

But when I’m on my own time, I don’t think about previous missions. I don’t think about the state of the world, or the knowledge I have of home and foreign affairs. I’m no more indispensable than any other agent. Granted, I’m better than most of them, and it might take a team of agents to replace my individual skill set, but that still doesn’t make me indispensable. When I’m not on duty, I am not on duty, and it’s someone’s else watch. Someone else will have to save the day, the world, or whatever annoying issue has recently arisen. This allows me to sit peacefully reading at my fireside with Jack at my feet, enjoying a cigar at my club, or pursuing more amorous adventures without distraction. In my line of work, it’s the only way to stay sane.

Now, Alice has a husband. She loves him, and he used to work for the Crown. That’s a horrible combination. She’ll want to be truthful with him, and worse still, he’ll know the right questions to ask about her missions. He also sees himself as her protector and wants her to stay safe. He, therefore, believes he has a right to ask a great many questions, none of which Alice can tell him the answers to. Since I accepted her as my full partner, we’ve undertaken missions so secret that if we’d been caught, we would have been disavowed. She cannot tell Bertram anything about these, and I know she won’t. This is not only because she holds her oath of service dear, but also because she doesn’t want to worry her beloved husband, who has rather a weak heart. Unfortunately, while she does not reveal information, she’s not yet able to fully dissemble in front of him. He’ll frequently know when she’s lying or omitting truths. This is not comfortable for their marriage.

Alice also has family, a mother, a brother, in-laws and, well, I’ve lost count of the people who form part of her life. She cannot tell any of them what she does. Instead, she must play the roles of wife, sister, aunt, and perhaps one day even mother.

When she’s not with me, she lives in the middle of nowhere in remote marshlands, and while we do speak on the telephone, I know she frets constantly when she’s away from the sort of serious situations that are opening up across the globe.

It would never occur to Alice to think she’s indispensable, but she does have a very, very strong ethic for ‘doing her bit’.

She needs to separate out the various aspects of her life. Who she is must be determined on where she is, and with whom. I don’t fear her letting something slip, she’s far too clever for that. But she is wont to fret and worry over what’s happening when she is in the Fens, and when she’s on a mission, it’s not unheard of for her to admit to worrying about Bertram.

This really won’t do. She has to compartmentalise her life and, like myself, learn that when she’s a spy, she’s a spy, and when she isn’t being a spy, she’s being an unusually observant and cautious individual, but she’s living a private life. If she can’t manage to separate these two properly, it’ll only cause her heartache, and much mental distress. I think, eventually, she’ll come to understand this, and will follow my lead in how we must both live.

As a gentleman, I do genuinely only wish the best for her, but as her partner in espionage, I need her to become a thorough professional, along with all that entails.