From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 124)

In the main I don’t discuss politics. There are occasions when in order to be thought simply a gentleman of leisure, I must profess a bare interest in the subject. As an agent of the Crown, I am not allowed to vote, and in general, the aim of my professional colleagues is to sort out relevant matters before they come to the attention of elected politicians who invariable complicate matters.

The real problem is that anyone can stand for parliament. It helps to be a gentleman, so we get a lot of industrialists standing, as well as individuals from the lower ends of the aristocracy. These individuals seek at best fame, and at worst self-aggrandisement.  Sometimes the sons of the titled peers stand - the younger sons naturally. After all, if one has a decent title, one is automatically a member of the House of Lords. Say what you like about the Lords, they are divided into two groups. The first attend to eat their dinners in the lofty environs of Westminster and come to London to take in a show or two or visit their mistresses. The second come from the families who actually train their offspring in how to take their seat. This second variety often prove most useful in curtailing the business of the lower house.

The issue is, as ever, a matter of training. The better schools pride themselves in turning out gentlemen who know which utensil to use at dinner, can flash a neat shoe on the dance floor, and can be (almost) guaranteed to not take things too far with an actual ‘lady’ before marriage. These scions of the good and the great are often rather proficient at making speeches, and in some cases, can even manage to shave themselves. What they are not taught is how to run a country. In fact, I know from my colleagues in the civil side of the service that once the euphoria of being elected is past, then new parliamentarians are prone to wander the halls of Westminster rather like sheep in search of a sheep dog. Fortunately, there are enough civil servants to herd the majority towards the bars (full of cheap champagne) and the restaurants (full of yummy old-school fare with overdone steaks and spotted dick.)

Occasionally a few of them escape the herd and attempt to do some actual ruling. These cause a great deal of trouble for my department and can disrupt the Empire and even the course of world events. No one has trained them for the job they are trying to do, but their schooling has given them a great deal of confidence to wade in and get on with things. The mess they cause is then borne by the taxpayer, my department in our attempts to smooth over world events and, of course, the ordinary man who is conscripted as a soldier.

The so-called leaders of the country do have meetings with the Sovereign, who has been trained in ruling, foreign affairs, the laws and rules of the Empire, all from Birth, but who is prohibited from actually running the country. I do see the wisdom of not putting all the power into the hands of one person, no matter how well equipped they are to rule, but to put the country into the hands of over-confident, bombastic, untrained, and often intellectually limited individuals will always seem to me to be utter madness.

If it were not for the men and women behind the scenes who are there to sweep up most of the messes these MPs make, then I believe the Empire would be in complete chaos.