From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 137)

The first time Griffin was tasked with sending off my laundry, he was rather taken aback that all of my more intimate apparel is made of pure silk. Well, almost all. When I began my career, I did my fair share of travelling to exotic locations and this led to my love of silk.

I’ve no intention of explaining any this to him, any more than why, in the recent heatwave, I’ve been going around drawing curtains or closing shutters, and not marvelling at the gloriously blue skies, like so many other inhabitants of these fair isles. Being naturally red headed (despite dying my locks a darker colour) I’ve quite a pale skin, and so am prone to both sunburn and, worst of all, freckling.

I don’t like the heat. I learnt some time ago that the best action to take in extremely hot weather is to avoid the outside world. A great deal of heat enters a house through the windows. Closing curtains and shutters doesn’t make a house stuffy, as common ‘wisdom’ dictates, but rather helps to keep the interior cool.

In very hot climates, people often immerse their extremities (i.e., their hands and feet) in cold water, which draws heat away from their core. Cold, damp towels around the nape of the neck are bliss (and, if you’re alone, ice cubes wrapped in a damp cloth and placed under the armpits has quite a miraculous effect). Bowls of ice placed in front of an electric fan makes the air they waft much cooler.

Despite any temptation that one may have to maintain a reserved and gentlemanly appearance, forget stiff collars, and dark suits. Wear only loose fitting linen in pale colours, and brimmed hats to keep the sun off your face.

Of course, under no circumstances should ladies be expected wear restrictive corsets in extreme temperatures, and as a gentleman, I feel it is imperative to help consenting ladies out of these as quickly as possible. Then, once a state of undress has been achieved, it is a sensible precaution to retire to the confines of a shady boudoir where there is a bed for them to lie upon, should they feel they might be in imminent danger of being overcome by the heat.

However, and I cannot stress this highly enough, such is not the time for vigorous lovemaking. Quite the contrary. The subtle, slow, and caressing techniques of the Kama Sutra should be employed in the hotter parts of the Empire, especially between the hours of 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. (which, rather conveniently, is also when their husbands tend to be away at work, sweating in their offices).

To maintain one’s strength, one should drink continually, albeit slowly. Milk or orange juice is better than water (which is often of dubious quality when abroad). Eat lightly to fortify yourself. Spicy food has the effect of cooling one down as it promotes sweating. Likewise warm drinks such as tea - the very lifeblood of the British Empire - are helpful, but take them with milk, not lemon (unbearably common, I know, but what’s one to do?).