From Fitzroy's Private Diary (Extract 91)

It’s well known that I like to have the best of the best. When I’m in the field, I often have to make do with a great deal less than the best, so when I’m not, I feel entitled to treat myself. My pay from the department is minimal but, fortunately, I have my own investments and, of course, the legacy from my mother. This brings me to the question of wardrobe.

I don’t, as with Euphemia’s German brother-in-law, have a penchant for embroidered smoking gowns or, heaven forbid, smoking caps with tassels like Bertram. I believe a gentleman’s clothes are no substitute for wit, character, or charm, all of which I have in abundance when I choose to display them. Clothes should be clean, crisp, elegant, obviously hand stitched, and as close to form fitting as is proper - at least when one is of as fine a form as myself. One must never be garish, but neither must one adopt hues that chime with the current fashions of house decor. In my own time I can please myself and I say, with all modesty, that I dress well and to advantage.

In the field, clothing must be different. Often it requires to be hard wearing, waterproof and of hues that do indeed fade entirely into the background. Rarely I disguise myself as another person, and during these times I will affect the use of face paint. I dye the hair on my head and my body a shade between dark brown and black. Nature gifted me with a hair colour which, while delightful on my mother, is a terrible nuisance to one in my line. My natural hair colour is a fiery red. When I was younger this allowed me to make jokes about burning bushes of passion, but it is now a distinct nuisance, being both noteworthy and noticeable.

Occasionally, on missions, I am required to wear evening dress. However, I must always ensure I have a way of covering the stark white of my shirt, should I need to slip away from the bright lights. Likewise, whether at work or not, I insist on shoes that are handmade, even boots, and which have an excellent, but subtle, grip. I must always move with the quiet grace of a cat. I prefer to go unarmed and, therefore, avoid the knotty problem of bulging pockets. I generally carry a cane and that is more than enough weaponry for me. Gloves are, of course, useful to avoid scraping my knuckles while climbing or punching people - both of which I am finding I increasingly need to do.

And, finally, the considerable problem of trousers. Less often than most people think, especially Euphemia, do I have the necessity of removing my trousers during a mission. Nevertheless, it’s still of great importance that these are both easy to don and easy to remove. No fancy cummerbunds for me. Simplicity will suffice. I have also designed some fastenings that I ask my tailor to include that allow me to engage and disengage my trousers with more ease and speed than most gentlemen.